When you ask someone to give you their testimony on why they are a Christian, chances are that they will explain to you something along the lines of how Jesus found them in their darkest places, brought them out of despair, and gave them hope for a new life. I’m not going to name names here in this post, but from the vast majority of testimonies I have heard from other Christians, they all pretty much explain to me how Jesus saved them from when they were struggling with depression, how God gave them hope when they were going through seasons of brokenness and pain, and how they follow Christ because they now owe Jesus their life after he met them. And while these are powerful testimonies that I am sure are genuine spiritual experiences for them personally, I’m starting to realize that these testimonies are not enough to “prove” Christianity.

This realization honestly came pretty rough to me… Out of all of the arguments that push forth the existence of God, I came to the conclusion that all but one have been refuted by atheistic rebuttals. This statement will probably evoke resentment for any Christian reading this; but if I’m going to be completely honest, I have yet to hear a single convincing Christian rebuttal of any of the major atheistic criticisms to the God hypothesis. Rather, theological defenders oftentimes seem to ignore the opposing atheist viewpoint and would rather hold their beliefs to the bitter end rather than accept the possibility that God might not exist. (Needless to say, the same goes for many atheists on this perspective. However, I completely understand why: to the Christian defender, they are defending the glory of God and Jesus plays such a huge part of their life how can they entertain the idea that there is insufficient evidence to support God’s existence.

To me, the last argument that gave Christianity the edge over agnosticism was the argument from personal experience as no atheist “rebuttal” can disprove a person’s genuine experience with the living God. But unfortunately, I’m beginning to realize that even the argument from personal experience falls short of proving Christianity. And here I’ll explain why: after hearing numerous testimonies, I’m realizing not a single person who says they experienced the Christian God starts from an unbiased point of view. Most of them will pray to Jesus and have a “spiritual encounter” which makes them confident as if the Christian God is meeting them. Therefore, they make the connection that the God of the Bible must exist and then devote the rest of their lives to following him.

However, the vast majority of the people who give a testimony along these lines grew up in the church and were taught for their entire childhood that God will save them when they are weak and hurting. And even for those who didn’t grow up in the church, at one point in their lives, they were taught that Christianity can give them hope when they are at their lowest points. But what about the personal testimonies of people of other religions who grow up with different backgrounds? If we were to take the argument of personal experience as evidence that Christianity is true, then every other religion can be proven true by its same merits. 

I was recently talking with one of my Buddhist friends, and she told me that the essence of Buddhism is understanding that there exists suffering in this world and one must achieve enlightenment to leave that suffering. Her testimony given her Buddhist background was that she would live life, experience seasons of suffering and pain, recall from their upbringing that spiritual enlightenment will save her, and thus devoted her life to following Buddhism after this spiritual realization. This is essentially the typical “Christian testimony” but with someone of a different upbringing of a different religion. In other words, the Christian testimony is not unique to Christianity, but pretty much any world religion that gives hope to the hopeless.

To address the common rebuttal: “What about the people who grew up with different religions but converted to Christianity.” Well what about the people who grew up Christian and then later deconverted? I really dislike how believers are always so quick to point out how some people used to be atheist/muslim but then converted to Christianity. However, when the shoe is on the other foot and if a believer deconverts, then Christians claim that they were deceived by the devil. I personally think that most Christians tend to be only one-sided: for any believers reading this blog, think about it. Is there anything an atheist can say that would make you open to the idea that God does not exist? Even if what they say is strong, right? So doesn’t that make you one sided? And most of the time, Christians don’t even see how they are only exposing themselves to one side of the argument because they are so convinced that their conviction is right.

I’ll give you an example: how many Christians are familiar with people like C.S. Lewis? A renowned Christian author who used to be atheist and then turned Christian. Christians across the world boast in stories like this about a man who set out to disprove Christianity actually ended up being a follower of Christ himself. With such dramatic transformations like this, many Christians use this story to prove how our religion must be true then! But how many of you know people like Dan Barker, an ex-pastor who devoted 25 years of his life in preaching God’s word before converting to atheism and starting to speak out against the church and list the reasons on why he rejects Christianity/the God Hypothesis. How many of you have listened to the story of Alex O’ Connor, an Oxford graduate who grew up a believer throughout his childhood before starting to openly explain his problems with religion on all social media platforms. I’m not naming some obscure names here, I’m listing some of the most influential atheists in the world today. Unfortunately, as many Christians only have time to listen to their side of the argument, they don’t bother to spend any time listening to any opposing viewpoints. 

Regardless, this leads me to some sort of a crossroads. I have long accepted the notion that at the end of the day, religion is an act of faith. But doesn’t that mean that pretty much all logic and reasoning regarding this debate is just pointless? If you look at the world and expect to find God, then you will find him. If you look at the world and expect to see randomness with no divine intelligence, that is exactly what you will see. What is the point in literally any of these debates, with any argument, with any logic or reasoning when at the end of the day, it’s simply a matter of faith?

I honestly feel like I wasted a bunch of time doing all of this debating on the question of God. All of this is simply faith; it’s not evidence that brings you to Christ, it’s not the best argument or most eloquent testimony. It’s just faith.